international self-care day: are you practicing authentic self-care?
6 minute read
exercising regularly is a form of self-care that benefits your mental and physical health in the long run.
getty images
stay up to date on this topic
self-care is a term thrown around these days that encourages people to look out for number one. while looking after oneself is of the utmost importance, when most people hear the term self-care, their minds go to bubble baths, wine nights, spa days, and generally “good vibes only.” while these activities can be good additions to a well-rounded lifestyle, they do not officially qualify as self-care.
by definition, self-care is “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress” and “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.” these definitions outline that the true act of self-care aims to improve a person’s overall quality of life, ability to handle stress and manage or improve health and well-being while reducing the risk of chronic disease later on in life.
lindsey thomson, registered psychotherapist, clinical supervisor, business consultant, and founder of momentum mindset, works with people living with various mood disorders and burnout from the drudgery of daily life. she dedicates her therapy practice to “women’s issues, notably self-care and how to manage self-care with all the competing priorities that women face.”
authentic self-care versus the trend of self-care
self-care may seem like a fad, and that’s because people have taken over the official term and morphed it into what they want it to be. the actions and steps people take in “fake” self-care are often band-aid solutions to more significant problems requiring more in-depth analysis and long-term changes.
“there’s an old perception that self-care is always about adding things in, but i think also a part of self-care really involves self-awareness, so taking the time to look at, kind of doing a life audit,” thomson said. “looking at what are the things that are truly serving us and what are the things that are maybe a band aid solution.”
advertisement
thomson, however, believes that people’s understanding and practice of self-care are changing to suit its more official definition.
“i do think that the public perception of self-care has been evolving. so, if we look back at self-care maybe five years ago, i would maybe say it was more synonymous with pampering yourself, so going for manicures, getting a massage—it often involved adding something into your life to take care of your physical health in some way and then thinking that that would be a way to help you destress or manage your anxiety.”
however, it isn’t always about adding things in but instead learning to look inward to determine what you really need to be your healthiest self. it’s also about removing coping mechanisms that do not help in the long run and only act as avoidance.
“(people) they self-soothe with, ‘oh, i’ll have a glass of wine to unwind at the end of the day,’ or i see a lot of clients who say, ‘oh, i’m going to smoke weed because that helps my anxiety or helps me to check out’ but really it’s just a prolonged form of avoidance from dealing with that discomfort in our lives.”
shifting the focus so everybody can understand and practice self-care
due to the nature of what was understood about self-care, many men may have felt as though they didn’t fit into the practice or that there were no steps for them to take to practice their own form of self-care. but that, too, was just a reflection of how poorly understood the practice of self-care has been.
“interestingly enough, it was very female-focused, so maybe a lot of men in our culture wouldn’t see themselves with self-care being for them,” thomson said.
she acknowledges that things are now changing, and any person of any gender can practice self-care because it’s not about the social media definition of self-care.
advertisement
“it’s really starting to shift now in recognizing that self-care shows up as different things in different parts of our lives, so when i’m working with my clients, i’m really careful. i try not to even use the language of self-care. i really focus more on this concept of self-nurturing. so, what are the things i need? what are my values in life? what are the things i truly need?” thomson said.
according to thomson, self-care can include various activities that help maintain lower stress levels, encourage healthy lifestyle habits, and protect oneself from outside influences that could negatively affect mental health.
“really, to me, i see self-care as being expanded to what are my basic needs, which also includes saying no because no is a full sentence, setting boundaries, and then looking at what are the things i truly need,” she said. “self-care could be ‘i’m really tired at the end of the day, and i don’t want to cook,’ and self-care is actually cooking with all the veggies i have in my fridge even though i’m tired rather than ordering uber eats.”
self-care could also mean delegating more tasks to family members so that you have less on your plate, setting boundaries with coworkers or bosses who put unrealistic expectations on you in the workplace, and being able to speak your mind about these boundaries to ensure they are enforced.
practicing self-care: what to focus on
if you’re practicing true self-care, all aspects of your health and well-being require a closer look. that means your mental, emotional, physical, personal relationships, lifestyle habits, and spirituality all get their own time to shine.
when looking at it from a mental and emotional health standpoint, practicing self-care could be acknowledging high levels of stress and anxiety and seeking out a medical professional or psychotherapist, such as thomson, to learn how to cope with the challenges that bring on stressful or anxious feelings.
advertisement
physical health self-care could be cutting back on alcohol intake, increasing the amount of exercise you get in a week, or quitting smoking to improve your health and reduce the risk of developing chronic disease.
according to thomson, several important aspects of health should be considered when implementing new self-care routines, and each person should also be aware that what self-care looks like for them may not be what it looks like for someone else.
“they’re obviously going to be a little bit different for each person, but i would say at the very core, the first couple of them should really be about meeting basic needs,” she said. “so, i would say, sleep, nutrition, movement, and environmental safety, so the home that you live in.”
incorporating self-care into daily life
it’s not always easy to change your entire lifestyle in one fell swoop, but self-care isn’t about challenging yourself in ways that cause more stress. it’s about introducing small changes over time so that the version of you that exists in the future benefits from the tweaks you make today.
“if i start to make positive shifts in one area of my life with behaviours, so let’s say starting to take a break at lunch, not eating at my desk at lunch and actually getting outside for 20 minutes, that’s going to naturally positively impact other areas of my life,” thomson said.
“a lot of the time, we get stuck in these small micro-behaviours that we don’t notice are unhelpful or that keep a problem going, so it kind of pulls us down into this downward spiral, and so when we start to make positive shifts … it starts to help reverse that cycle and help to increase a sense of motivation, and it will also give us that positive feedback to keep going.”
whatever self-care techniques you implement will be highly geared toward your personal needs, but in the general sense, taking care of yourself in a way that is conducive to better physical, emotional, and mental health is at the forefront of the self-care movement.
advertisement
share story
