exercise and chronic disease: finding success on your own terms
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living with chronic disease isn’t easy, and i should know. i have several to contend with, all of which give me various limitations, symptoms, and other factors that i need to work around to live my life as healthily and happily as possible.
i’ve been dealing with chronic illness for the better part of my life, aptly dubbing myself “the sick girl” because while i’m not sick in the life-threatening sense, my body has been working against me for over two decades.
during that time, i’ve cycled through different forms of exercising, throwing things at the wall to see what sticks. when i was younger and only diagnosed with one chronic condition, jogging was a passion of mine. i tried zumba, too, and a ballet class once. i’ve tried my hand at swimming, but when it’s structured, it’s much less enjoyable. i’ve also tried numerous workout apps, a personal trainer, several workout classes and gym memberships, an at-home stationary bike, and, more recently, a bowflex elliptical.
eventually, when i discovered pilates, weightlifting, and a unique blend of the two, i found something i genuinely enjoyed beyond running, which had become a less feasible option due to its ability to aggravate symptoms of my existing conditions.
even so, establishing a new exercise routine, even using workouts you enjoy, isn’t a linear journey when you have a chronic disease. the good days, the ones where you have energy and wake up feeling ready to crush whatever movement you enjoy, are the best ones. but the ones that trickle in between, the ones that stop you in your tracks, telling you, ‘not today’ when all you want to do is lace up your sneakers, make that regular routine a little more sporadic than you’d like.
all of this is to preface my new attempt at a workout routine that works for me living with chronic disease, and to show you, the others like me, that working out is essential to managing chronic diseases, but sometimes success looks a little different when you’re fighting for your body at the same time that it’s fighting against you.
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trying new things to find your passion
since my exercise routines tend to ebb and flow, i decided to try out some more structured plans. one was orangetheory fitness, an intense variable hiit-style exercise program that requires you to attend class, push yourself for an hour, and repeat as often as you’d like throughout your membership. the workout itself is broken into three categories: treadmill, rower, and weights. within the hour, you spend some time with each, trying to max out your heart rate to get the most benefit. of course, max heart rate changes for everyone.
for example, if you’re in the treadmill portion of your class, you can choose between running/jogging, or walking at an incline to get your heart rate up. for some, running would be the only way to get them there, whereas others would be able to give their heart the cardio it needs through speed walking at a high incline alone. that makes the whole exercise program highly variable and interchangeable based on your needs.
my experience there was great in the sense that the people, both coaches and fellow gym-goers, were exceptionally kind and welcoming. however, since workouts that cause too much stress on my body aggravate my symptoms (and i am a pusher by nature, trying to run when i know i should have been walking), i wasn’t able to offer the same level of endurance or attendance as i would have liked. in these moments, i like to think back to the idea that success looks different, because while i did have to cancel some classes, i made it to others on some days, and those workouts counted, even if they were few and far between.
i also downloaded the ladder app, an exercise plan app that provides you with various programs to join based on your goals. it offers in-ear coaching, personalized workouts, and video demonstrations, enabling you to perfect your form. it feels almost like a personal trainer in your pocket.
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from all my time trying new forms of exercise, i found that the best way to do it when you have a chronic disease is by choosing something you enjoy. it’s hard enough to push yourself to get to a class, a gym, or even your at-home basement workout area when it feels like you need all your energy just to get through the day.
finding movement you’re passionate about will make you feel excited to get into it, and that can help you push on those middle days when you could work out if you pushed yourself because you have the energy, but you’re not raring to go because you still feel less than 100 per cent.
learning to deal with self-shame and finding your version of success
i often hesitate when thinking of signing up for things i would enjoy because i want to avoid being the “sick girl” in a new place. all these fresh faces see me as completely average, because on the outside, i don’t look sick at all.
the thought of having to go over my conditions and limitations again with new people is something i’ve always struggled with, especially when it comes to working out. i don’t like to share what i’m going through because in my mind, i can do it. i can do everything everyone else can do if i just push myself hard enough.
however, unfortunately, that’s not entirely true. my starting line in the 100m dash is a lot further back than that of many others—something i have to learn to accept, rather than fight against.
why? because once i can accept that, i can start engaging in movement that’s right for me without feeling like i’m not doing enough when i can’t mimic the lives of fitness influencers and those who are at their best almost every day.
if you’re like me and are also trying to lose weight while getting healthier, that only adds to the feelings of self-shame and stigma. will people think i’m lazy if i don’t show up? will people judge me for not putting in the work when they’ve heard my goal is to lose a specific number of pounds within a certain timeframe? will those who have extensive experience and a set routine view me as less than because i can’t do what they do, and what they do seems easy to them?
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these questions circle in the back of my mind, and potentially yours, too, but they only hold you back from doing what’s right for you.
as i get older, and during my time at orangetheory, i realized that the “late for class in high school” embarrassment feeling for missing a workout is something that i, and possibly many people with chronic disease, have to work on when it comes to starting a new routine that involves scheduled classes.
people are often more understanding than we think, and it’s better to get back into the schedule feeling a bit embarrassed than to abandon your efforts altogether. eventually, you develop your own routine where you honour what your body needs, whether that be more workouts or more rest, and it won’t matter what other people think because you’ll be doing it for you. that’s what success looks like for you, whether you choose organized classes, a home gym, or any other form of exercise, and that’s okay.
keeping it simple
my best advice, based on my own experience getting back into a good exercise regimen, is to keep it simple. if you don’t like one form of movement, don’t do it. you’re already forced to do a million and one things you don’t want to do or miss out on things you do want to do because of your chronic disease, so adding yet another chore is not going to get you very far.
it will feel forced, and when that happens, sticking with it won’t be possible. you’ll find something you enjoy, even if you have to try several options before that happens, and that’ll make it easier.
keeping it simple also involves knowing your body and giving it what it needs without shame, embarrassment or negative self-talk. you feel like resting? rest. you feel like you’re able to work out? do it.
your new routine doesn’t have to be a set-in-stone schedule where you commit to getting 90 minutes every day, because you won’t know how you feel from one day to the next. you do what you can when you can, and you will succeed, continuing week after week.
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working out with a chronic disease requires you to give yourself grace when you need it, push yourself when you can, and create a fluid routine with exercises you actually enjoy. that’s the entire formula, at least from my point of view.
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