the first thing i felt was just this horrible, horrible sadness. i’ve got a little granddaughter and i could think about was that i wasn’t going to see her grow up, or graduate high school. you think about all that’s been taken away from you. i also wanted to see my son in a good place, because he wasn’t in a good place at the time.
after the sadness came a little bit of resentment or anger, or a combination of the two. and then after that with the sadness again, so it was almost like peaks and valleys of alternating from sadness. and then the why did this have to happen to me?
eventually, i thought to myself, dust yourself off, pick yourself up and make something positive of all of this. by that time, i’d reached out to others and hooked up with a couple of people at the clinic who have the same as myself. they were quite a bit older than me and i think at that time i was the first female to be diagnosed with hereditary amyloidosis at that clinic. the cardiologist [there] hadn’t come across a female with it, especially at my age.
what about treatment options?
the treatment when i was diagnosed was basically symptom management and/or a heart and liver transplant. it was suggested that i have both, but because of my symptoms and my blood pressure, i was not a good candidate. i probably wouldn’t survive the anesthetic. when i read all the information with regards to what was involved for the heart transplant and the liver transplant, i did not want either.
the landscape has changed [since i was diagnosed].
if you have an early diagnosis of amyloidosis, it will be a good prognosis because of the treatments we have now in place. there’s no cure — and that may change in the next couple of years — but at least now we have treatments to stop further production of the amyloid deposits.
tell us what it feels like.
[the amyloid deposits] attach [themselves] to an organ or organs — unfortunately, in my case, it involved multiple organs. they also attached themselves to peripheral nerves, which means i have autonomic neuropathy (when the nerves that control involuntary bodily functions are damaged). i noticed that sometimes i would slip and fall when i was outside — i couldn’t figure out why i was doing it. what was happening was that the message wasn’t getting to my legs to actually move that limb, to take that step, and i was tripping over my feet. for example, we’ve got a couple of stairs [at our house] that i have to manage on a daily basis. the right leg seems to work okay for me, but i often have to lean on something and lift my leg onto the step. or, i will pick something up, and though i think i’ve got it, it falls out of my hand.