bruce willis's wife emma reminds caregivers to take a break
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emma heming willis and bruce willis attend the european premiere of 'red 2'. (photo by stuart c. wilson/getty images)
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model emma heming willis, who’s married to actor bruce willis, opened up about the importance of self-care for caregivers on social media earlier this week.
the actor, 67, has aphasia, a condition that affects the part of the brain that controls language and speech. his family announced earlier this spring that his diagnosis meant he would be stepping back from acting. in addition to the three adult daughters willis shares with ex-wife demi moore, he and and heming willis also have two girls: mabel, 10, and evelyn, 8.
heming willis, 43, first spoke about the importance of prioritizing your own needs in an interview with parenting outlet the bump in may. while she didn’t specifically comment on her husband’s condition, she said she puts “my family’s needs above my own” and that she “struggle[s] with making the time for self-care every day.”
bruce willis and emma heming willis with their two daughters. (instagram / emma heming willis)
but going it on her own, she said, “does not make me any kind of hero.”
“that amount of care for everyone else within my household had taken a toll on my mental health and overall health, and it served no one in my family,” she told the bump. “someone told me not long ago that when you over-care for someone, you end up under-caring for yourself. that stopped me in my tracks and really resonated with me.”
she tries to remember to “mother” herself in the same way she cares for her children, she added.
“i don’t mother myself perfectly but i know that i have some basic baseline needs that are a must, like first and foremost, exercise. it’s a time i can disconnect and can do something that i know makes me feel good overall. i think it’s important to find that one thing that makes you feel good and build from there,” she said.
around the time the interview was published, part of her quote was shared on instagram by the nonprofit the women’s alzheimer’s movement. “remember, you can’t fill from an empty cup,” the group wrote in the caption. “just as much care as you give to others, you must give care to yourself.”
(instagram / women’s alzheimer’s movement)
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on june 7, heming willis re-shared the post on her instagram story, adding to her initial quote.
“when you put everyone’s needs above your own, no one wins,” she said. “i don’t do this perfectly but i really am trying so i can be the best i can be for the people i love and adore.”
aphasia has ‘a devastating impact on human connection’
aphasia is an especially frustrating condition, where a person often has the ability to form complex thoughts but can’t express them. it can have “a devastating impact on human connection,” according to the aphasia institute.
heming willis has previously mentioned that she has a nanny, and given her success as a model and her husband’s long career as an actor, it seems fair to presume that their family has top-notch medical care and far more resources than the average couple. but even she struggles to make time for herself given her responsibilities as a caregiver — a fact that puts into perspective how difficult it must be for people without those kinds of resources.
nearly eight million canadians provide an average of 20 hours a week of care, often for family members who struggle to take care of themselves, due to disease, disability, or aging.
“it’s so easy for caregivers to feel a sense of loss in identity because they are caring for someone else,” terrence ho, 38, previously told healthing. ho has been caring for his younger brother torrance, who as duchenne muscular dystrophy, since childhood.
asked what advice he would have for other caregivers, ho said they shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help.
“at the beginning of my journey, i always felt that i was on my own,” he said. “and because it’s my loved one, i felt like, who else would take this on? but there are people and organizations out there that can help and can take a little bit off the plate of a caregiver.”
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if you’re interested in learning more about caregiving and the challenges faced by caregivers, check out healthing’s how i care series. for resources, check out the canadian centre for caregiving excellence, an organization that’s dedicated to providing support to caregivers.
maija kappler is a reporter and editor at healthing. you can reach her at mkappler@postmedia.com
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