back then, nobody was really talking about breast cancer, she says, which was especially true among her caribbean african community. “what happens at home stays at home. so, we kept it very quiet. i told my siblings, and we navigated through that.”
although she has a close relationship with her mom, she couldn’t tell her about the diagnosis because her mom was halfway through her own breast cancer treatment. “i needed her to win. i needed her to come through,” she says, with emotion rising in her voice. and then a wide smile: “i’m so glad that i followed my gut and i told my siblings, don’t say anything to her because when we told her, she fell in our arms and she wept. and i just looked at her, and i said, ‘mom, guess what? i’m coming through. you’ve come through. i’m coming through.’”
again, patricia knows that words are powerful. she uses them to convey her strength and conviction.
decide ‘how do you want to play this game?’
when she saw her oncologist, he told her that she had “the bad kind” of breast cancer that required “the strongest stuff.’ treatment followed with chemotherapy, radiation and surgery. but what kept her spirits and determination high was the mantra that she was going to come out winning. it’s something that she passes willingly onto others.
“this is what i tell anybody being diagnosed: with anything, your diagnosis doesn’t determine your prognosis. you have to decide right up front. how do you want to play this game? do you want to fight or do you want to lay down and go to sleep? and i had too much to live for. i said, ‘we’re going to fight.’”
she still sees that same oncologist for monitoring and, just like her mom, she went through breast cancer a second time after a diagnosis in 2016. her mom had one breast removed in the first diagnosis and then the other breast in the second diagnosis, while patricia had a lumpectomy in the first treatment and then a mastectomy in the second treatment.