jolted by a panic attack, ottawa author learned how to calm down
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"i start the day by leaving my phone on the other side of the house. i wake up slowly, pick up a book, say hello to my wife," says chris bailey, about how to start off the day right. supplied
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most people — up to 75 per cent of us, in fact — are afraid of public speaking. but what if you felt completely comfortable addressing rooms filled with people . . . until one day you didn’t? it happened to ottawa author and speaker chris bailey minutes before he was about to step onstage to motivate 100 people about productivity, his area of expertise. he describes the fear and anxiety he felt as a “full-blown panic attack”.
he recovered enough to finish his talk, but not without a racing heart and sweaty palms. the experience puzzled him, not only because he was at ease on a stage, but because he believed he had invested enough in self-care — meditation, massage, wellness retreats — to stave off stress and anxiety. he decided to delve deeper into what it means to be truly calm.
bailey explores all that, including topics on burnout, the mindset of more, stimulation fasting and how calm and productivity intersect, in his new book, how to calm your mind: finding presence and productivity in anxious times.
what are some of the hidden benefits of a calm mind?
when we have a calm mind we have the fortitude to deal with whatever comes our way as conditions change around us. also, a calm mind increases our brain’s working memory capacity by 20 to 25 per cent. anxiety is a cognitive limiter, but calm frees us of those limits — we seek out fewer threats, we have less negative self-talk, while we have more presence, more engagement and an increased working memory.
what gets in the way of a calm state of mind?
for every new and novel thing we direct our attention at, our mind rewards us with a hit of dopamine. we pay attention to instagram, we get a hit of dopamine. we pay attention to email, we get a hit of dopamine. we go over to twitter, we get another hit. novelty tends to over-stimulate our mind, and so much of what we pay attention to is threatening and often we don’t realize it. these distractions can serve as a source of chronic stress.
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we’re biologically wired to need social validation and approval from others. social media takes advantage of that by producing a highly processed, exaggerated version of what our friends are thinking and saying and feeling. we get so accustomed to these hits of dopamine, and the more mentally stimulated we make our mind, the more stimulation we want.
‘how to calm your mind: finding presence and productivity in anxious times’ by chris bailey. supplied
how can we turn it off?
one strategy is a stimulation fast. for a period of time, around a month, identify the dopaminergic activities and distractions that you want to weed out, especially the distractions that serve as a source of stress in your life, from digital news to social media. then introduce some well-rounded activities, like volunteering, picking up an old instrument you haven’t played in a while. then notice any changes, how much more focus you have, [how] more productive you are, whether you feel more present.
i start the day by leaving my phone on the other side of the house. i wake up slowly, pick up a book, say hello to my wife. i subscribe to a physical newspaper because i find that a daily morning brief, where i can compartmentalize the time of checking the news, gives a more balanced picture of the world so i’m not exposed to these repeated sources of chronic stress throughout the day.
how is “busyness” often a state of mind rather than reality?
busyness is really no different from an active form of laziness when it doesn’t lead us to accomplish anything of importance. we’re terrible at measuring our productivity. we tend to look at proxy measures for our productivity: the busier we are the more productive we feel, even though we may be moving things around instead of moving things forward. and we tend to look at how exhausted we are at the end of the day as a measure for how productive we are. but productivity is about what we accomplish, it’s about the progress that we’re able to make. a simple way to measure this is by keeping an accomplishments list. make a note of all the milestones you reached and then review it at the end of the week.
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you also have a chapter on burnout. what exactly is is?
not enough people realize the physical toll that stress and burnout can wreak on our mind and body. it’s characterized by three phenomena: first, exhaustion — and we often equate exhaustion with burnout but it’s really only a third of the picture; second, cynicism, where we have this negativity behind how we interpret our work; third, inefficacy, where we feel deeply unproductive, as if our actions don’t make a difference or a contribution.
stress is the one and only thing that causes burnout. we reach a point when chronic stress doesn’t let up, and, on a chemical level, our body refuses to respond to a stressful situation. if you find that you’re exhausted, cynical or feel unproductive, that can be a stepping stone to full-blown burnout.
what do you mean when you recommend “savouring” experiences?
it’s basically the science behind how we can enjoy our lives. research points to the idea that this enjoyment isn’t just something we do or don’t do, it’s a skill we can get better at. on a technical level, savouring is the process of converting positive experiences into positive emotions. just because we experience something that is great doesn’t mean we’ll derive any satisfaction from it. think of the delicious meals you distractedly scarfed down while watching tv, or ate at a restaurant you didn’t enjoy because your company was annoying. or factors like wealth. the wealthier someone is, the more difficult it is for them to savour their lives. it goes back to the idea of dopamine, which propels us forward to stimulate our mind but also to attain more of something.
scarcity, for example, makes us savour more. there have been studies where two groups are given the same amount of chocolate but the first group is told their piece will be their last. that group experiences a greater level of enjoyment overall.
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a simple way of practising this is by making a list of everything you enjoy, from the people you love to chat with over the phone, to your morning cup of coffee, to walks around the neighbourhood. every night, pick one thing to savour. because savouring pulls us back into the present moment, we set aside that acquisition mentality and actually enjoy the fruits of our accomplishments.
gratitude is another form of savouring. every night, recall three things you’re grateful for. it trains your brain to look for the positives around you. another form is marvelling, where you experience a sense of awe in something. we can even savour the past and the future. when you savour the past it’s called reminiscence, thinking about old memories, looking through old photos. savouring the future is called anticipation. we can do this by counting down the days to a vacation, or by journaling about an experience that’s coming up.
we shouldn’t wait until we have an anxiety attack or reach a point of burnout before we start investing in calm, because the benefits are so profound.
robin roberts is a vancouver-based writer.
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