aging well secrets: ‘having a great sex partner who engages with me at least three times a week is just fabulous’
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according to anne thureson, aging is a mindset; it is having an optimistic attitude. getty
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anne thureson, 75, doesn’t look her age. when you first meet her, you’ll notice her magnetic personal warmth, her youthful skin and fit physique. thureson, who beat cancer twice, looks a decade younger and is proving that science has it right — genes are said to only be responsible for 20 to 30 per cent of aging and longevity. the rest, researchers say, is up to us. in a candid interview, thureson shares her secrets to looking and feeling her best, her thoughts on why sex is an important part of aging well, and why she is choosing to embrace getting older without the help of cosmetic surgery, botox or fillers.
this interview has been edited for length and clarity.
walk us through your daily routine.
i wake up before seven o’clock and drink a dark roast coffee with a splash of cream. i swear, a cup of joe helps to kick-start my day but i have limited myself to three cups, which i enjoy while reading, wordle-ling, researching or catching the news. with the exception of a short daily workout, the rest of each day is open. i also write in my personal journal, log my to-do’s, my activities and my feelings. it helps me feel organized and grounded.
how do you stay so committed to exercise?
i started exercising in my 20s. to stay committed i considered it as another part-time job. eventually, it evolved into a habit my body and brain needed. years ago, i adopted a daily 13-minute exercise routine that suits me. working out combined with eating at least some fruit and/or vegetables daily keeps me happy and fit. in addition, i enjoy sports which keeps me active. in 2019, i went on a cycling tour in quebec logging an average of 50 to 60 kilometres per day. it was a fantastic experience.
what’s been the best part of aging for you?
two things: maturity and freedom. i am more patient, even during difficult situations. i credit that to maturity. the second one is freedom — retirement released me from the nine-to-five and other such regimens, leaving me free to spend my time as i choose.
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and what do you find challenging?
remembering where i left my glasses. it’s a bit of a joke, but truly i do laugh at myself when i behave like a forgetful senior, which i am, sometimes.
to anne thureson, embracing your age means showing acceptance and kindness towards yourself. supplied
how did you deal with menopause?
i had hot flashes. i still experience the occasional warm flash now and again. luckily, i escaped mood swings, although there may be one or two who would claim otherwise. thankfully, i did not experience cramps and pain. my periods continued off and on for over two years after my menopausal symptoms appeared. i was 54. that was annoying but, overall, i was lucky to have fewer disruptions than some girlfriends.
has aging been an intentional process for you?
i rarely considered the physical or mental consequences of aging until recently. i did start saving rrsp’s in my forties, but retirement always felt remote. in my younger years, during family gatherings, it was boring listening to my aunts and uncles discussing their health issues. most of those dear relatives have now passed. however, the irony is not lost when my siblings and i gather and share stories of our various aches and pains.
how do you stay confident as you age?
i refuse to talk negatively about myself and i count my blessings. there is always someone less fortunate. seldom do i think of my age. i am 75 but i do not think of myself in terms of years. aging is a mindset; it is having an optimistic attitude. the song “young at heart” says it best.
and you’ve navigated cancer twice.
i was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 50. it did not go into my lymph nodes. treatment was a lumpectomy followed by six weeks of radiation. my demanding hr job helped me stay focused. i was so tired most days, but i felt lucky as it had been caught early through a mammogram.
earlier this year, i was diagnosed with early-stage endometrial cancer. my treatment was three radiation treatments. again, i was lucky that it was detected early. i am so grateful to my doctors and all the wonderful hardworking health care professionals that helped me recover. i am also grateful to my beautiful supportive family and dear friends.
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how have your relationships changed over the years?
i’ve lost several loved ones including my husband to brain cancer, but my family ties and long-term friendships have stayed strong. the most upsetting change this year has been my 96-year-old mother’s health. early-stage dementia started last fall but during the past few months her decline has unnerved me. i’m sad because i’m losing her. i am learning to accept that she is not always my mom as i knew her. this is her disease and i’m bracing for her future.
what’s the most important life lesson you’ve learned?
to live in the present. eleanor roosevelt said it best: “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. that’s why it is called a ‘present.'”
what makes you happiest right now?
living in each moment. spending time with family and friends. earlier this year, i beat cancer … again. i am healthy, fit, active, and grateful. i cycle, golf, and dance to name a few of my favourite activities. i like to quote john lennon: “life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.”
after her battles with cancer, anne thureson wants to spend as much time with loved ones as possible. supplied
how do you feel about sex and aging? are they mutually exclusive?
sex gets better with age. i know my body and what it wants and needs. besides how wonderful sex feels, i embrace its health benefits. during orgasm, the brain releases dopamine and other neurotransmitters — that’s physically and mentally healthy. having a great sex partner who engages with me at least three times a week is just fabulous.
why are you choosing to age naturally, without the help of cosmetic surgery?
i want to age naturally. i know i can look my best at any age because i am confident in who i am. i am also aware that i do not look my age and, therefore, i have never considered cosmetic surgery. but, what if things changed for me? one thing we can count on in life is change. if an illness or accident changed my appearance, it’s possible i would choose cosmetic surgery. i certainly wouldn’t judge anyone choosing cosmetic surgery to improve their life.
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what advice do you have for women who hide their age or are nervous about getting older?
we are all concerned about getting older. aging is not for sissies nor is the subject of death and dying. perhaps if our last years were more openly addressed, we would accept aging and its consequences more philosophically. i would not judge someone who hides her age especially if it makes her feel better. me? i’m adjusting to new wrinkles, age spots and soft tissue. i jokingly wonder who will pluck my chin hairs when i am too old to do so — these alien hairs have sprang out of nowhere and grown surprisingly quickly. perhaps the best we can do is to find our comfort zones and ways to accept our aging selves and adjust. most importantly, we should strive to be kind to ourselves.
maja begovic is a toronto-based writer.
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