but then it was my turn.
every six months, i make my way to princess margaret cancer centre for a blood test, wait for a couple of hours, and then see my oncologist who relays the results. on days that i feel nervous, i find comfort in knowing that the span of time my stomach churns will be a mere few hours. plus, if anything is wrong, he is right in front of me to answer my questions, tell me about the next steps, and give me a hug should i need it. and, as anyone who has ever received scary 世界杯决赛2022 would know, it can be weirdly cathartic to search your specialist’s face for clues that you are, in fact, going to be okay.
i guess i have taken the comfort of this process for granted over the last twelve years because this week, when i had blood taken on monday and then, because of covid-19 restrictions, had to wait until tuesday for a call to discuss the results, well, i wasn’t feeling so jazzed about the short commute. in fact, the wait strangely reminded me of how i felt in the early days of my diagnosis, when test results were indications of living or dying. it was like the added hours made room for a little bit of anxiety mixed with that nauseating ‘what if’ feeling. there’s always a chance that something is not right — and as it turns out, it’s hard to wait to find out.