failed new year's resolutions give us more than we think: experts
it's not all bad. being aware of how and why we fail is key to setting realistic — and ultimately successful — goals.
3 minute read
recognizing previous attempts at new year's resolutions can also help goal-setters stay realistic. getty
recognizing how and why past new year’s resolutions have failed could be the secret to a successful 2023.
the tradition of setting up a series of far-reaching and wistful goals every january has shown no sign of going away, even though as many as 80 per cent of resolutions fail by mid-february. the trope of the doomed resolution is so pervasive, many have begun pushing back on the concept — with one fitness chain even banning new memberships on january 1st.
however, recognizing the resolutions that have never quite stuck could be the ticket out of the yearly cycle. instead of choosing to kick off a campaign of “new year, new me” or shunning the tradition all together, amy deacon, therapist and founder of toronto wellness counselling, recommends finding the power in previously failed goals and bringing that knowledge of your past self into the planning process.
“say if somebody wants to reduce their social media usage and historically it hasn’t worked for them,” she says. “what they can look at is ‘what historically has tripped me up? is it that i get bored? is it that i get lonely?’ so, when they notice themselves feeling bored or feeling lonely, perhaps they reach out to a friend, or they go for a walk and listen to a podcast as opposed to going on social media.
advertisement
“when people have a clearer sense of what goes wrong, they actually have a better chance of making it.”
recognizing previous attempts at resolution can also help goal-setters stay realistic. research has shown that we tend be overconfident when it comes to estimating our chances of success and how long it will take us to get there, but this effect is eliminated when previous experiences are taken in to account before making any predictions.
and realistic expectations are key when it comes to sticking with a game plan.
“the optimism and positive effect that may accompany the beginning of an attempt to change tends to dissipate with the vicissitudes of actually working to affect the change,” janet polivy, a professor of psychology at the university of toronto, wrote in 2001. “as negative emotions build, behavioural suppression gives way to overindulgence, and behaviour may spiral out of control. zero tolerance beliefs, or all-or-nothing thinking, contribute further to the likelihood of failure.”
plan for the new year’s resolution to fail
while figuring out the objective is the first step to creating a resolution — like cutting out sugar or running a 5k — many goals fail because the steps to reach that goal are based on a blank slate or an ideal situation, rather than the complexities of everyday life. slowly cutting back on sugar consumption is easy in a vacuum, but what’s the plan if you’re invited to several birthdays or special events in a short period of time? or, how will you get back into the groove of working out after a week of late nights at the office?
advertisement
“know what typically trips you up and be prepared [for when you’re] struggling,” says deacon. “instead of being intimidated, really lean in and say ‘ok, how could i best prepare myself for that?’”
finally, deacon says that recognizing when something continually fails despite multiple different strategies could be a sign to seek out extra support or education. joining a running club, including friends and family on your journey, or reaching out to a professional for help could be the key to getting over the final hurdle.
emma jones is a multimedia editor with healthing. you can reach her at emjones@postmedia.com or on instagram and twitter @jonesyjourn.
thank you for your support. if you liked this story, please send it to a friend. every share counts.
share story
