as told to: 'not everyone knows how to react to someone with a life-altering injury'
but you can start by not raising your voice or feeling the need to speak slower, says russ davies, who has been living with a brain injury since 2009: 'people think you aren't capable of having a conversation.'
7 minute read
russ davies wants people to know that those who are living with a brain injury are normal people. supplied
it is estimated that 1.5 million canadians are living with a brain injury, according to brain injury canada. about half of survivors experience neuropsychiatric symptoms, such as personality changes, suicidal thoughts, depression or a mood disorder within the first 12 months after an injury and some people can still be affected seven years into their recovery.
in addition to the psychological symptoms, a brain injury may also impact language, memory, visual-perceptual skills, information processing and attention and concentration, as well as what is often referred to as executive functions — planning, organization and multi-tasking.
russ davies acquired his brain injury from a motor vehicle accident in 2009. it has had a tremendous impact on his life in virtually every regard, but more than a decade later, he continues to make strides in his recovery. this is his story.
this interview has been edited for length and clarity.
it was easter sunday and my first day off in more than three months. i had bought a new car and my friends wanted to go for a drive. on one of the country roads, a deer ran out and i swerved to miss it. i lost control of the vehicle, hit a telephone poll — the car snapped the poll — and we rolled down an embankment. somewhere in all of this, my seatbelt broke, and i was thrown around the car. i was first taken to a local hospital and then transferred by an air ambulance to a toronto hospital.
advertisement
the doctors determined that in addition to the physical injuries, there was bleeding in two areas of my brain. at the time, i truly didn’t grasp the extent of my injuries — i believed that i would be back at work in a few weeks. my friends would visit and notice that i was watching the same television program over and over again — but i didn’t realize it. when you sustain a brain injury, you don’t notice the deficits at first, but slowly, you begin to lose friends because you either forget to keep in touch or you just can’t do very much.
prior to the accident, i was an assistant store manager for a major grocery retail chain in ontario. i had a type a personality, i managed up to 300 people, and enjoyed spending time with my colleagues, but after the accident, i had facial injuries and i didn’t want anyone to see anyone. i lost some friendships, which is actually not that unusual because a brain injury can put a strain on a marriage and relationships. people might be surprised to learn that not everyone knows how to react or support someone after a life-altering injury. i’ve had people talk slower to me, raise their voice when they are speaking, and they’ve talked down to me. some don’t think you’re capable of having a conversation.
advertisement
at some point, i realized that i was never going to be the same again, and depression hit me very hard. i had strong suicidal thoughts. mental health is something that’s left out of supporting people with brain injury and while today, things are a bit different as there’s less stigma around mental health, that didn’t exist 10 or 15 years ago. in the first year of my recovery, i sought help from a psychiatrist and three sessions in, she wanted me to remember the accident. it didn’t make sense to me. i needed to be in a vehicle to get to these appointments and i didn’t want to start having panic attacks in a car. i stopped seeing her that day.
‘i realized i would never be the same again’
after that, i connected with a psychologist. i also participated in group therapy sessions, but we didn’t sit around and talk about our problems. instead, we discussed solutions and learned from each other and were able to apply that knowledge in our own recovery process. i also completed mental health day courses as well as cognitive behavioural therapy courses, and the tools i learned there really changed my perspective. cognitive behavioural therapy taught me to let go of the fear of judgement and of those who are ignorant and talk slow to me. it helped me gain perspective and realize that how they view me is not my fault.
advertisement
when it became apparent that i was not going to be able to work again, i thought to myself – what can i do and how can i use my experience to help other people? i faced many challenges and i thought about passing on some of what i’ve learned to others.
with the help of the brain injury association of peel and halton and my speech language pathologist, i was able to set up and lead a support group for brain injury survivors in my own hometown. i did that for about five years, after which the stories of other people began to weigh heavily on me, so i redirected my focus to other things.
russ davies is still making progress in his recovery from his motor vehicle accident injuries from over a decade ago. supplied
after a brain injury, it is recommended to wait about six months to start any kind of therapy or recovery program, and during that time, i did have two or three brain scans each week. i now require annual scans, but in the last couple of months, i have developed a new migraine. i have a headache where it feels like a clamp in the front of my head, and another one that feels like a knife going through my eye. they come and go and can be brought on by anything — stress, weather, a noisy environment, you name it.
i am at a point in my recovery now where i can live a semi-independent life, using the strategies and plans implemented by my medical and therapy teams. my daily routine is the same every day — after i wake up and get ready for the day, i put on the news, such as cp24, and i’ll read the headlines. i’ll memorize two or three headlines so that i can have conversation points for the day. i also do morning physiotherapy and vision therapy to help control my double vision, which began after the accident. it often sneaks up on me when i am fatigued. i exercise my eyes using brock string – a long string with beads on it — i focus on one bead at a time. i also wear prism glasses when i need to as they help to redirect vision to one eye, which is especially helpful when i have a migraine. i don’t see a speech pathologist or an occupational therapist anymore, but i still use all the tools they’ve recommended in my recovery program.
advertisement
it really does matter what causes your brain injury, and if you don’t have personal or work insurance or you’re not going through motor vehicle accident insurance, it can lead to significant financial loss. that said, a good lawyer can provide guidance and advice, and get you access to the services you need, especially if you’re living outside of a major city centre. in the first two years of my recovery, i would have spent more than $100,000 on rebuilding my life, very little of which i have had to pay out of pocket.
as many other survivors might attest to, dealing with insurance companies after an accident can be very stressful. they didn’t care about what i was going through — they had their own agenda. for example, in the accident, i reinjured a knee which was operated on years earlier. the insurance company sent me to their surgeon for an assessment and it happened to be the same doctor who performed surgery on my knee — he had retired and was now working for the insurance company. in his report, he indicated that my knee was completely fine. i lost a lot of trust in the medical system after that.
the brain injury has had a significant impact on my life. it took away my livelihood and changed my personality. i’m highly introverted now and sometimes, i don’t want to be around people, especially in social settings with simultaneous conversations. it can be overwhelming and trigger an anxiety attack.
advertisement
many experts will tell you that the first two years after a brain injury marks all the progress you’re going to make, but i am living proof that that’s not true at all. i’m still working at it and making progress 13 years after the accident. i’m so grateful to organizations such as the ontario brain injury association, which helped to encourage me not to listen to the prognosis, but to work hard and try different strategies and new routines. routine, strategies, reminder lists, and electronic devices are very important in a brain injury survivor’s life, along with medications, mindfulness, meditation and a good night’s sleep, which doesn’t often happen.
i want others to know that those who are living with a brain injury are normal people. it takes patience to be around someone with a brain injury, and while it may take us longer to do something, we can still do it. there’s a lot of support out there, and mental health is a big part of it. people — myself included — don’t want to admit when they’re struggling, but with the right medical and family support, things can and did get better for me, so be your own best advocate and don’t settle for what the doctors tell you.
i’ve had some doctors say to me that i will never be able to remember my address. well, guess what? i know where i live.
advertisement
maja begovic is a toronto-based writer.
find out more information about brain injury, resources and how to connect with others through the ontario brain injury association.
thank you for your support. if you liked this story, please send it to a friend. every share counts.
share story
