being attracted to your therapist is more common than you think
2 minute read
virtual intimacy platform dating.com found that of the 1,000 people surveyed, nearly half (47 per cent) admitted to feeling an attraction toward their therapist, while more than a quarter (31 per cent) confessed to having intimate dreams about them.
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if you’ve ever been attracted to your therapist, you’re not alone.
a new study found that more and more people are drawn to their therapist with some even admitting that they’ve started dating theirs.
as the stigma surrounding mental health becomes increasingly fragmented, therapy has become more common. but as people open up about some of their deepest thoughts and feelings, that line between therapist and confidante can get blurred.
virtual intimacy platform dating.com found that of the 1,000 people surveyed, nearly half (47 per cent) admitted to feeling an attraction toward their therapist, while more than a quarter (31 per cent) confessed to having intimate dreams about them. as well, 28 per cent took it a step further and revealed they had either dated or tried to date their therapist with 57 per cent believing it was totally acceptable.
acknowledging feelings necessary process
an analysis of google trends found that searches for “i love my therapist” and “my therapist is hot” had surged by 181 per cent and 134 per cent, respectively, over the past month. meanwhile, searches for “dating my therapist” were up a whopping 324 per cent, according to the data.
“therapy is impossible without a genuine connection, trust and showing your true emotions, so it’s not surprising that romantic feelings may appear,” said jaime bronstein, dating.com’s resident therapist.
“however, you should acknowledge your feelings to your therapist instead of hiding them.
“bringing this attraction into the session allows you to understand your attachment patterns, turning an awkward crush into a breakthrough in emotional intelligence.”
handle like a pro
bronstein noted that a professional therapist would neither be flustered nor take it personally.
on the contrary, she pointed out that if a client develops a romantic affection, it should be acknowledged and their emotions should be validated—all while maintaining a professional, one-sided approach and simply explaining a therapist’s code of ethics.
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“the right course of action would be to treat these feelings as data for analyzing a patient’s attachment pattern. typically, we start with a discussion,” she said.
“by discussing these feelings, the therapist can understand if it’s a recurring issue for a client and discover the root cause, which often lies in past relationships.
“if the client is obsessing over you instead of working on their mental health, it’s called ‘eroticized transference.’ a deep dive into the client’s past attachments is necessary to break the cycle.”
when things go sideways
bronstein recounted how one male patient stopped seeing her after a few visits because he thought she was too attractive and “couldn’t concentrate on the sessions.”
she admitted that she was flattered and found it “endearing,” and while she has worked with some men with flirty personalities, she said she has “always remained professional”—which is key, bronstein insisted.
but if things take a turn, it may be better for them to seek help elsewhere.
“referring the client to another specialist could be an exit strategy if the client becomes overly obsessed or if the therapist starts to like the person back,” bronstein said. “in both cases, referring the client to a colleague is the only way to protect the client’s mental health.”
this article was originally published in the toronto sun on march 8, 2026.
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