machado: when will our government finally be brave and care for us the way it should?
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is anyone helping to the many organizations that live and breathe pushing policy change to make lives better for patients and families? getty
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i fancy myself as a go-with-the-flow sort of person. someone who makes decisions on the fly, can manage last-minute changes to dinner plans, and effortlessly adapts to new things.
and for sure, this is me sometimes. but mostly, i am what they call a “creature of habit.” if i don’t have cream in my coffee, i feel off all day. i eat two eggs and one piece of toast with butter every morning (every morning) and i have been using the same makeup since i was 15.
i’m ok with big changes like jobs and husbands
that’s not to say that i reject big changes — jobs, places to live, husbands — count me in, but i need time to noodle, to weigh the pros and cons and maybe get feedback from my besties or seek the deadpan honesty of my 17-year-old daughter (though maybe not for the husband part). i work best with a period of waffling, too. i change my mind a few times, and yes, i may google the specifics of the decision that needs to be made (although that hardly ever helps) and then i finally drop the hammer. but it’s darn stressful getting there.
sometimes though, amped up by a powerful combination of the endorphin rush of a morning workout and a couple cups of coffee, i am quick with a decision: a moccasin purchase, agreeing to foster a dog with wheels and a diaper, and ordering six tropical plants by mail in the dead of winter (three of which lasted only four days) all happened after a particularly challenging crossfit session and too much caffeine.
of course, look a little deeper, and what this is all about, to some extent, is control. that, in a world wildly out of whack, it’s still possible to make things happen the way you want them to, like the cream that turns my coffee the colour of hot beach sand. besides, leaning into the perception of power, even if it’s somewhat an illusion, feels nice and comfy.
in fact, according to raj raghunathan, the author of if you’re so smart, why aren’t you happy? and a professor at the university of texas mccombs school of business, the belief that we can create the outcomes we want makes us feel competent, which in turn, increases our sense of well-being. he also notes that if we perceive ourselves to be in control, it makes us believe that we aren’t being controlled by someone else — it’s a win-win.
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except when there’s a reminder that, despite the really perfect coffee, there’s actually very little you have control over. so many things are done to you, like winter. and while the cold and grey everything is tough, it’s the bigger, harder, just-happens stuff that can be paralyzing: depression, war, aging, sickness, loss, death, and so many others.
i see some of it when i walk my dogs. any path i take is not without someone struggling with mental health issues or facing life-threatening financial insecurity. yesterday, a middle-aged woman undressed while singing “ymca” on a busy street near my house as a man dodged people rushing by to cover her bare shoulders with his jacket. just steps away, a teenager in a t-shirt that used to be white and shorts that were too big begged the crossing guard for a hot coffee.
i also hear it in the conversations i have with the young people in my life, among whom antidepressants and pot-smoking as coping strategies are mostly the norm. i actually felt the need to ask a close friend’s son if he ever felt like hurting himself after we had a deep conversation about the bleakness of high school life. what the heck.
i have never been more up-to-date with the latest tragedies
then there’s social media, which pelts us with all degrees of emotion in split-second increments day and night. never in my entire life have i ever been more up-to-date on tragedies. from random accidents and brutal murders, to deaths from diseases caught too late and people unexpectedly lost as they simply slept, the sense of loss is breathtaking.
and if there was any doubt at all how difficult life is for so many right now, the letters that we get from our readers is proof enough. the effort it is taking all of us to stay optimistic — for ourselves, but also for our families and friends — has become monumental. life is hard, and each one of us is struggling in some way. it’s in the midst of all of this that i find myself longing for some really significant change.
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it’s time — way overdue, in fact — that our governments finally be brave and take a stand to care for us the way they should, supporting health care and its workers, funding research and innovative treatments so more patients survive, lifting marginalized communities and investing in mental health like our lives depended on it.
also, who is helping to buttress the many organizations that live and breathe pushing policy change in order to make lives better for patients and families living with health challenges? groups like pancreatic cancer canada, the canadian organization for rare disorders and the sickle cell disease association of canada, to name just a few, have been voicing their mission for far too long, with many still stuck in the weeds while desperately holding patients up so they can get a little air. we need some wins in advocacy — for patients, sure, but also because when advocacy groups win, we all win.
so how do we get to a place in which we are happier, more secure and safe? we seek positive change, no matter how uncomfortable. we show up. we tell our stories and keep talking until our voices are heard. we write our mps, send a dollar or two to the organization that has made a difference in our lives or the lives of those we love and we vote with the kind of life we hope for in mind. we seize every opportunity, big or small, to make things better and then we push forward, together.
and most importantly, we put our coats over bare shoulders and buy that hot coffee.
lisa machado is the executive producer of healthing.ca. follow her @iamlisamachado.
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