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with anxiety, the more one avoids what they're afraid of, the more the anxiety can build and persist over time.
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if you ask people what their number one fear is, often they will say public speaking.
in fact, anxiety disorders — which include fear of public speaking — are the most common mental disorders worldwide, says dr. kathryn bell, citing the world health organization.
bell has made it her career to study and understand anxiety. a professor in the psychology department at acadia university in wolfville, bell is also a registered psychologist in nova scotia. her clinical areas of expertise include the assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of anxiety, obsessive-compulsive, and trauma-related conditions.
“social anxiety disorder, a condition that can include fear of public speaking, is one of the most common anxiety disorders experienced by canadians, particularly among canadian post-secondary students,” she says.
on top of that, bell explains that people diagnosed with social anxiety disorder are at an increased risk of also experiencing depression and substance use problems.
if you’re feeling anxious about speaking in public, remember this is this is one of the most common fears worldwide, says dr. kathryn bell.
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what is social anxiety?
social anxiety disorder is a condition characterized by intense fear or anxiety about one or more social or performance situations due to concerns that one might be judged negatively, embarrassed, humiliated, rejected or offend others, often resulting in avoidance of these social situations, explains bell.
over time, this intense anxiety and avoidance of social situations can negatively impact a person’s life, impacting their relationships with others, work, and school.
research suggests that social anxiety is likely caused by a combination of genetic risk factors and life experiences.
for example, in families where a primary caregiver struggles with social anxiety, opportunities for children’s socialization outside of the home may be lessened, and fear and messaging about being negatively evaluated, rejected, or embarrassed in social situations may be inadvertently communicated by caregivers, increasing children’s risk of developing social anxiety problems as they get older, she notes.
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“generally, with anxiety, the more one avoids what they’re afraid of, the more the anxiety can build and persist over time. and the smaller one’s world becomes as they avoid more and more situations,” says bell.
how can you work through anxiety?
anxiety isn’t something to avoid or get rid of in our lives, says bell.
rather, anxiety, just like all our emotions, serves a purpose in helping us survive and thrive.
anxiety is an emotion that can help protect us from real dangers in life and plan for the future. and it can cue us into knowing when something really matters in life.
“so, when anxiety shows up, instead of trying to push it away, another option is to really listen to what anxiety is telling us about what is important to us in life — developing and maintaining good social relationships, doing good work in our jobs and at school, and then leaning into doing what matters to us in life, even if it means feeling some discomfort along the way,” she says.
take gradual steps towards approaching feared social situations.
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where to start?
learning to tolerate social situations, so that you begin to live the kind of life you want to live rather than letting anxiety call the shots, begins by gradually approaching feared social situations.
bell says the goal isn’t to avoid feeling anxious in social situations or to prevent or avoid experiences of rejection, embarrassment, or negative evaluation by others.
instead, the goal is to learn how to get better at feeling and tolerating discomfort in social situations, including situations where you might be rejected or negatively evaluated, and to begin engaging in life in a way that is important to you, even if it means having to take risks of being judged, rejected, or embarrassed.
to begin approaching socially anxious situations, she says, ask yourself what you’re willing to do to live the kind of life you want to live, even if it means having to feel some anxiety or risk embarrassment, rejection, or negative evaluation. she also suggests taking gradual steps towards approaching your feared situations.
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for example, if you’re a student experiencing anxiety about classroom presentations, maybe you’re not willing yet to give a 20-minute presentation in front of an auditorium full of people. so, what are you willing to do that moves you in this direction? maybe it starts by giving a five-minute presentation in front of your professor and a couple of classmates; then moving to giving a five-minute presentation to a class of 20 students plus your professor; and then, over time, increasing the length of the presentation and the size of the audience.
keep in mind that the goal in these exercises isn’t to deliver the speech perfectly or without feeling anxious, to be positively evaluated, or to avoid embarrassment — much of that is outside of your ability to control, she notes. instead, focus on goals that are behaviourally specific and doable. for example, “my goal is to give a five-minute presentation to an audience of five people and to look up at the audience at least two times during the presentation.” then, afterwards, give yourself credit for what you did do.
top tips for working through anxiety
bell offers a few top tips for working through anxious situations.
· take gradual steps towards approaching feared social situations. ask yourself what you’re willing to do to move towards living the kind of life that you want to live, even if it means bringing anxiety along for the ride.
· set behaviourally specific goals that are within your control.
· sometimes people will engage in superstitious-like behaviours, called safety behaviours, that they believe help protect them from bad things happening when they have to approach an anxiety-provoking situation. this could be carrying a special gem in their pocket, using notecards, looking at the floor, crossing their arms, or bringing a safety person. the problem with safety behaviours is that they might be given false credit for protecting against a bad thing happening, when in reality, maybe the bad thing wouldn’t have happened even if they weren’t using the safety behaviours. and, because of this, safety behaviours can sometimes maintain or even strengthen anxiety in social situations over time. as such, it is important to become aware of your safety behaviours and then make an intentional choice not to do them when approaching anxiety-provoking situations.
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· seek professional help if need be.
how to ask for help
if the anxiety is creating significant distress and impacting one’s ability to do the things that are important to them in life, like impacting their functioning at school, work, or in their social relationships, then bell recommends seeking professional support from a mental health provider who has expertise in evidence-based treatments for social anxiety.
there are effective treatments out there, with cognitive behavioural training (cbt) showing the strongest evidence of short-term and long-term effectiveness — that can reduce social anxiety symptoms and improve quality of life.
just remember, when it comes to social anxiety, you are not alone. many people in the room are feeling the same way!
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