weir: mental health and menopause
4 minute read
shirley weir is head of the menopause chicks.
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once upon a time, i worried about telling family and friends (or announcing publicly on social media) i was overwhelmed by feelings of anxiety and depression.
if i did, the charade of pretending to be okay would be over.
however, what i’ve learned is that everyone is carrying an “invisible backpack,†and it will remain so until we talk about it.
we are in the midst of mental health week in canada — an important time in our history (especially when we are eight weeks into a global covid-19 pandemic) to talk about mental health and raise critical funds for the canadian mental health association’s (cmha) programs and services.
as i was pouring over all the great resources on the cmha website, i couldn’t help but notice the parallels between what it means to navigate perimenopause-to-menopause (a topic i talk about daily), and mental health (a topic i’m not afraid to discuss, but one that can easily get pushed to the back burner.)
the similarities between mental health and menopause
both are invisible. let’s challenge our perceptions. a google search throws us dark pictures of women looking sad and holding their heads in their hands. but i’m here to confirm that mental health challenges might also look like a smiling, high-functioning woman who seems to have the world by its tail. the reality is we can’t see mental health (or illness) with the naked eye. same goes for hormone fluctuations common in perimenopause. both can be clouded by sleeplessness, discomfort or even fits of rage. and both make women feel isolated and without a safe space to speak up.
both make us lie. outdated stigma and negative stereotypes make us lie and say we’re “fine†when we are not. fear of what people will think prevents us from asking for help. according to new cmha stats, 77 per cent of canadians when asked “how are you?†rely on “i’m fine, thanks,†to express how they’re doing, despite the fact they are feeling more negative emotions than positive ones these days (63 per cent negative vs. 37 per cent positive).
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both are misunderstood. when you say “mental health†or “menopause,†people assume they know exactly what you mean based on their own experiences or societal myths. for example, “mental health†might mean, “i need medication†to one person and “i need a nap†or “a day off work†to another. say “menopause†and there is also discrepancy. one person is apt to hear, “hot, old, tired and moody,†while another may conjure an image of “confidence, wisdom, freedom and beauty.â€
both are part of the human experience. it’s human nature to label, which makes mental illness and menopause seem like something you “have†or “don’t have.†but it’s not like that at all. it’s more of a sliding scale, or a volume dial that gets turned up or down depending on our age, stage or circumstance. understanding the sliding scale helps us separate sadness from depression, and menopause from suffering. everyone feels sad — not everyone is depressed. every woman will reach menopause — not everyone will suffer.
reaching out is the opposite of stigma. it feels vulnerable to talk about anxiety, mood swings, or a mental illness. we want to be strong. but what if everyone was handed a giant permission slip that read, “it’s okay to ask for help� whether it’s navigating perimenopause or prioritizing our mental health, the common ground we share is how good it feels to be validated. feeling understood by another human is magic — a caring ear and the words “you are not alone†can move us away from stigma toward connection. and connection is empowering.
support is available. despite recent growth in video conferencing and social media usage, 47 per cent of canadians are feeling more isolated than ever, craving real and meaningful connections. if you or someone you love is struggling, please contact your local cmha to find out about virtual and phone-based mental health support services. or visit the government of canada’s wellness together.â if you are in crisis, please call 1-833-456-4566 toll free in canada (1-866-277-3553 in quebec).
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 in 2016, a menopause chicks survey revealed that 70 per cent of women didn’t have anyone to talk to about perimenoapuse or menopause. remind yourself that you are not meant to suffer, and you are not alone. reach out to a member of your health team to discuss mental health or hormone imbalance. and to connect with quality information on perimenopause, menopause and post-menopause, and other women keen to prioritize their midlife health, join the menopause chicks online community.
shirley weir is the founder of menopause chicks, an online facebook community that advocates for women in perimenopause, menopause & beyond! she is also the author of mokita: how to navigate perimenopause with confidence & ease. @menopausechicks.
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