if, however, the fear and anxiety are borne out, tabor suggests facing that fear head-on by, for example, asking the friend in the texting example if they got the text, or if there’s a problem.
“a cbt therapist would help a person gain insight into their thinking and how it relates to their emotions, their physiological arousal and their behaviours, and help them check those automatic thoughts for accuracy and for helpfulness, to see if their thought is distorted in any way and if there might be alternatives,” says tabor, adding that cbt is considered short-term therapy though you could see results in as little as one session or as many as 24, depending on your level of anxiety, and how engaged you are.
she also integrates mindfulness and yoga into her practice, and uses breathing exercises for relaxation. she singles out two types — diaphragmatic breathing, which fills the belly like a balloon, holding it, then exhaling. “the focus is really on exhaling fully and slowly and smoothly. the exhale is connected to the part of our nervous system that says, ‘ok, we can be calm here.’”
box breathing is another one of tabor’s favourites.
“imagine a square,” she says. “breathe in as you go up one side of the square, hold as you go across the top, then exhale as you go down the other side, then hold across the bottom. it’s really helpful for calming and restoring balance.”