weir: we will emerge from covid-19 stronger
uncertainty is uncomfortable and messy. but like a caterpillar, we will get through this change — maybe with a new pair of wings.
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we will get through this, writes shirley weir. stock/getty
while no one knows for sure where we are on the timeline of the covid-19 health crisis, we do know that we are living amidst uncertainty, crisis and fear.
just a few short weeks ago, we felt confident in routine and daily connections.
then it got messy.
work lives turned upside down. home lives changed. the way we interact with loved ones turned upside down.
scientists are not yet calling the coronavirus experience a metamorphosis; that’s just my wishful thinking. i’m an optimist. i’m trying to keep my eye on the end game, and i’m imagining something beautiful.
but it has got me thinking about middles: what it’s like for a caterpillar to be in the middle of its transition to a butterfly, what’s it’s like for a woman to navigate her perimenopause-to-menopause journey, and what will life look like post-covid-19?
last week, i wrote about one of the more common changes women can experience in perimenopause (heavy or irregular bleeding), and how important awareness and being informed ahead of time is essential in order keep women from thinking the worst about their health.
and then i saw an image on facebook of a chrysalis — a hardened outer casing protecting the complete transformation of a caterpillar as it evolves into a beautiful butterfly. it was hanging on by a single silk thread.
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i felt connected to this image. it reminded me of my perimenopause-to-menopause journey. it was messy in the middle. i did not know what to expect. initially, all i could focus on was the inconvenience and disruption to my sleep, mood and quality of life. and how ill-prepared i felt for all of it. there were moments throughout the process where i, too, was only hanging on by a thread.
it was challenging in those days, to get informed, to invest in hormone health education, to meditate, journal or practice gratitude. not knowing, not understanding, not having a clear picture of the timeline — all of it was uncomfortable.
it wasn’t until a few years later that i felt i could actually embrace the process — shift my thinking from negative-to-positive, replace negative stereotypes with words like ‘confident,’ ‘wise’ and ‘beautiful,’ and celebrate life post-50.
i’m curious. does the caterpillar know in advance that it’s going to have to completely turn into goo to become a butterfly? i assume not. i assume it doesn’t resist the change either. it might even (dare i say it?) embrace the process — even though it’s messy and uncertain in the middle.
i hope i learn a lot from covid-19. i am trying to focus on what i have — what is good — and not resist my current reality inside the cocoon. and for the past two and a half weeks, i’ve been posting daily check-ins with my menopause chicks private online community to see how other women are attempting to mitigate their stress during this metamorphosis.
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the responses have been wide-ranging. it seems just as many women are meditating as not. same goes for cleaning, journaling and board games. and that’s okay. some of us will emerge with closets cleaned, books read (or written) and a new love for yoga. others will have carried on doing what we do — caring for children, aging parents and working the front line.
even though we can’t yet see the timeline — even though it’s messy in the middle — we will emerge intact. perhaps wearing a new pair of wings.
shirley weir is the founder of menopause chicks, an online facebook community that advocates for women in perimenopause, menopause & beyond. she is also the author of mokita: how to navigate perimenopause with confidence & ease. download at mymokita.com
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