looking for love and sex while social distancing
dating apps see spike in users looking for connection during social distancing.
6 minute read
online dating is helping people be creative during social distancing. stock/getty
everyone’s looking for love — even in the midst of a pandemic.
and while social distancing may be putting a bit of a damper on the chance for romance, some are turning to technology to maintain a love connection at a safe distance.
kait diane, a 24 year-old esl teacher, says that dating apps have helped her make meaningful connections in a way she hadn’t expected, filling the void that social distancing has created in socializing.
“with social distancing, using dating apps has become the only way for me to meet new people,” she says. “i like the creativity that comes with virtual dating.”
diane said that she likes to video chat people she meets, something she never did before.
“[before i would] never have video chatted with someone i just met. it scared me,” says diana. “now i feel like putting a face to a name whenever helps me make a better connection.”
diane isn’t the only one taking advantage of the connection offered by dating apps.
bumble, a dating app that allows women to make the first move with matches, has reported a 42 per cent spike over the past week as generation z users between the ages of 18 to 22 flock to the platform. video calls have jumped 21 per cent as people look to chat face to face, with calls lasting on average about 14 minutes.
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hinge is another hook-up app that has reported similar demand for virtual dates as social distancing has become more widespread. in an email, the company said that 70 per cent of users are expressing interest in going on digital dates.
“we’re encouraging our community to “date from home†using phone calls and video chats to build connections,” said a company spokesperson. “hinge’s mission will always be to get people off the app and onto great dates, whether that’s in person, or digitally for the time being.â€
and as digital dating gains traction amidst self-isolation and social distancing, many apps are using platforms to educate users about the importance of social distancing and hygiene.
every few swipes, tinder reminds daters about using hand sanitizer and maintaining safe distances from others. the company has even allowed all members access to a passport feature until the end of april, which allows users to interact with anyone across the globe on the app to socialize and check in with one another.
and for those considering meeting up in person, tinder, among other dating apps, cautions users.
“wanting to meet your potential new thang is completely reasonable. however, staying inside and doing your part to stop the spread of this virus is exponentially more important than going out to meet them irl (in real life),†the company wrote in a blog post.
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plenty of fish (pof)sent out a message to users recommending that in-person dates pause immediately, with links to the world health organization’s (who) updates on covid-19.â pof also included a checklist on its instagram page with tips on how to date while distancing.
“this list covers our best tips for dating digitally, emphasizing that all singles should politely decline any invitations to hang out in person and instead should invite one another on a digital date via video chat,†the company said in an email. plenty of fish is also launching a new feature called live!, which allowsâ livestreaming with friends and potential matches, hoping to make it globally available by the end of april.
match group, which owns plenty of fish, as well as tinder, hinge, okcupid and match.com has even launched the dating while distancing hotline, a free service that lets users ask an expert for free advice on the current dating landscape, for example, how to organize a virtual date. the message on the the website is, “it’s a tricky time in dating right now. we get it. and with social distancing quickly becoming the new normal, the relationship rules just got a lot more blurry. that’s where our experts come in.”
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it’s perfect timing as social distancing is requiring people to get creative about how they spend time together. diane says she uses netflix party to watch shows on a “date.â€
“is it ideal? no,” she says. “but for now it works while we focus on everyone’s health.â€
alwin brown, a 25 year-old student, agrees that global health needs to be priority, but he says that the limited face to face physical interaction could be damaging to a budding relationship as it grows.
“some relationships are starting to fall apart, [as they’re] not able to establish a proper foundation,” he says.
and what about real physical connection? as the world finds alternate ways to greet each other — from a distance — what’s one to do when, you know, you’re feeling a little frisky?
so obviously, if we are all supposed to stay at least six metres apart, and we know that the virus is passed from viral droplets in saliva, kissing is a definite no-no. and even if you don’t swap spit, thinking that going all the way is the safer route to orgasmic nirvana, experts have said there still are risks when it comes to having sex. we do know that coronavirus can’t be spread through sex, but since it’s pretty near impossible to maintain social distance while you are getting it on, there’s a risk you may be exposing yourself to the virus.
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but this doesn’t mean that people are any less interested in sex, or maintaining their relationships.
o. school, a free online resource for sexuality and dating that offers medically accurate videos, articles and live streams on sex to educate people about their bodies, says that they’ve seen a surge in traffic since the end of february. according to founder andrea barrica, although people are home alone, they are actively searching for information on sex and wellness.
“we’re cut off from our usual social networks and many of us have lost the privacy need to have even phone conversations about our relationships,” she said in a statement. “that’s put an even greater urgency on the information online. it’s not just porn. there’s a boom in people searching for information on sex and sexuality.”
the company is working on providing more resources for people who are at home during quarantine and dealing with sex and relationship issues. some of these will also include guidelines for cuddling and boosting those emotional connections as well. “if we’re going to get through this, we need to stock up on our emotional reserves as well,†said barrica.
and in case you were thinking that the current climate of social distancing means that sex is completely out of the question, you are wrong. it just calls for a little creativity.
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diane says that some of her friends have been keeping their libido well oiled during isolation by sexting, or using facetime to have cybersex. as for her, she’s happy to go solo.
“me? i’m not there with anyone yet. i take care of myself however,†she says.
while diane is enjoying the newfound pleasures of dating apps, she’s looking forward to being able to get out of the house again for a date. brown feels the same.
“i personally feel that dating [for some people] and meeting new people everyday is a kind of therapy,†he says. “some people like to go out and meet new people and hang out. it doesn’t matter where it leads to,â but that social interaction is a moment they are having together.â€
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