radio host erin davis opens up about loss and sobriety
on new year's eve davis announced on twitter that she has been sober for six months
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erin davis seen making a toast. the former radio presenter says she has now completed six months of sobriety.
chris shapcotte
mountains, the ocean and deer. nowadays, this is what former radio host erin davis wakes up to at her home on vancouver island, having moved there from toronto.
davis and her husband, rob whitehead, left toronto at the end of 2016 after the death of their only daughter, lauren, at the age of 24 in may of 2015. with toronto reminding them of lauren and the times they shared as she grew up, the parents felt they needed to move away to cope with the tragedy.
the well-known radio voice davis retired from hosting 98.1 chfi’s morning show in 2016, one year after lauren’s death. davis had initially taken a year off to plan two funerals — one in ottawa where lauren, who also worked in radio, had lived with her husband and their infant son, and one in toronto, where davis worked.
now resettled in the west and rebuilding, on new year’s eve davis announced on twitter that she has been sober for six months, and asked others to write to her if they were in need of advice. behind a tweet that attracted a wide rage of responses lies a deeper story of how one mother coped after a child’s passing.
“i’m marking 6 months’ sobriety today,†davis tweeted. “i’m not telling you this for the congrats, just to say that if losing your only child isn’t a solid reason to be f–king blasted all the time, then sobriety isn’t impossible.â€
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davis told the national post she shared the news because she wanted to tell people that they can get through the worst things in their lives with a clear head. from the responses she received, she said she knew her message resonated.
“i retired three years ago when my husband and i decided to leave the city and the job that i loved because there was just too many painful memories that surrounded toronto,†davis said.
“and everyone had seemed to move on with their lives except us. another great step in this life of ours has been marked by tragedy, and we were trying to get through with as much positivity and gratitude as we possibly can.â€
now, she’s also getting through it sober.
“not only did i receive kind and supportive tweets which i have been blessed to be surrounded by, but also the emails from people saying, ‘i am so glad you mentioned this because i have a problem and i want to know how you did it,’†she said of her past alcohol use. “my response to them is not everything works for everybody. the fact that you are talking to me means you can talk to somebody.â€
lauren passed away the night after she celebrated her first mother’s day. she died in her sleep, and the exact cause of her death remains unexplained. davis has previously raised questions about lauren’s use of domperidone, a drug that helps new mothers to breastfeed. the drug is widely prescribed in canada but health canada has issued advisories on its use. it is not a legally marketed drug in the u.s. the u.s. food and drug administration notes it has been associated with health risks such as sudden death.
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however, davis said her anger at what might have been behind her daughter’s death soon led to thankfulness at lauren’s funeral.
“we said these are the things we are so thankful for,†davis said. “we were angry to a very small extent, but we also knew there was so much to be grateful for. that gratitude almost kicked in immediately.â€
“the first year was blessedly cloaked in shock and i think this is how people survive,†davis said. “the mindset is that it is not even possible and it hasn’t happened. every single day you are realizing that your dreams have died, that your plans that you started making even before your child was born, the things you envisioned, the hopes you had, they are all gone. that’s part of the mourning process.â€
davis closed a chapter in toronto and opened a new one on vancouver island, as she began writing her bestselling book, mourning has broken (2019). in it, davis writes about how she and her husband went on a journey. from grieving out loud with family, friends and listeners, to how the couple tried to pick up their lives after loss, davis says the parents were determined not to simply survive, but to reclaim joy.
“the last year, 2019, has been an absolute whirlwind,†davis said. “my book was published in february. it has been an incredible adventure and one that has been gratifying because this is something that i know that lauren felt that we needed to do. there’s hope and there’s light and you can keep going.â€
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she said the power of talking to others should not be underestimated.
“it is an amazing thing that happens when people share with each other,†she said. “you have got to talk to someone because no one is meant to get through this alone. it is through things like isolation that things like addiction begin.â€
as we enter 2020, davis has one message to those who may be suffering in similar ways.
“pain shared is divided,†she said. “joy shared is multiplied. grief can be so isolating. no one is meant to go through this alone. if you tell me what is wrong with your life, it takes me out of my own.â€
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